I swear I lived ... "The end of the year 2024"

These are a lot of stories.

Even I feel there's no different thing on me. 

I'm just like this. Still fighting. Still learning. Still trying for my old dreams. 

I don't know what the difference in my story life .....

.

2024 : THE STORY OF BEING WRONG.

yuu uuuyuu uuu

A learnt a lot about healthy life n mind. Of course i cant be that perfect. I'm still afraid about my way. It is right or not?!. How if these way are a wrong theory. Bcs there's a lot of theory. But I trust Allah a lot. I believe Allah is the best one. The best

Saver. There's nothing wrong about that. .

A year that i also learnt about being evil for my mental health. I'm still care to much to people. But now, I can count the porsion without care about what they think about me. I just focus for being kind but not stupid. . I leave friend who waste my energy. I leave friend who cannot see me wrong. I leave friend who cannot respect my struggles. I leave friend who hurt me so bad even i'm never act like hurted. I leave friend who just wasting my time and make me far away from Allah also family. 

Again, i'm not perfect to follow that theory. 

I met a new people, and i learnt more detail about human life. I feel so wrong after knew about their life. They also a amazing creation. Allah made them with their variasion. Allah also love them. They all are good human. Maybe better than me .....

Qila is my priority "friend", bcs she need more love and time 🐣

Make a new relation and connection....

Now, i know how to be human after these meeting. How live in social with a lot of  education level, variation of thinking level, and why they doing that way. I learnt how acting, how speaking, how thinking, how joking. Especially in this big event : Pilkada. Being PTPS is new experience 💙

I felt in love again with Ar Rahman. After my mother was sick and masa iddah, i forgot this baitullah. Now i'm back with new spirit. Also i learnt a lot here. How playing, how loving, how making friend, how promoting this religion, how controlling this heart and everything ✨

i may not make a high progress yet. I also felt overwhelm so hard about these. How can make a progress?!

How can make my dream come true?!

After you fight for everything. You fix for that. 

But in the end of year 2024

I've been recaped in video.

Then i realized,

I through many stories which i cant passed without Allah's help. Allah has gave me many easiness in life 

"The blue electric story : calm, brave, creative, a lot of spirit in mysterious way"

This is my energy supply. My dad live down there, in different dimension, but still in one energy. I consider life is a dream of those people lived down there. No matter how crazy world is. But i know that Allah is best lover who can love ayah much better. Bcs again, i've been wrong about love ayah kindly , i was too much, then finally wrong on me .. 

My brother help me to control those bad love. He know and very understand how i love father. And that love instead my big trauma bcs i hate everyone who hurted ayah. Then finally i consider, ayah has own way to live. He has his own story and lesson. I don't have to be that angry to people who cannot understand ayah well. That thing is my biggest wrong. 💙

this is to late to down my knee.

I've been too far and too old.

I still have many dreams that waiting for.

I'm still healthy wealthy and pretty, so what thing can stop me. Allah always next to me. Show me and Lead me how to live. Like always. Like 31 years behind. Why should worry about something not necessary, about something that Allah's Rights. I do not to be like that. Thats completely wrong. 

.

Maybe there's not highly progress, but i still learn and grow.

Thankyou for being wrong.

You don't have to be perfect.

Allah knows that you fight for that.

Thank me.

Keep moving up and never be going down.

Allah loves you.✨💙

Thankyou Bona Boni. Be a good health and long life yaah 😻😻 aamiin

i still have them . 

Thankyou mom for everything!!!

Thankyou for still survive for me !!!

So you dad, Thankyou .

Hope we Will gonna be unite in Jannah one day with all of our family 💙💙✨

Aamiin Allahumma aamiin 

1 Rajab 1446 H

1 January 2025

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